TRENDING THIS WEEK:
Larry David, black Nazis, procreation, being nice (even after you've killed someone), deliciously dehydrated 'food', and more!
Larry David Would Rather Be Selling Cars
...or maybe he's just lethargic from eating a Benadryl brownie.
Either way, this is the scowl of the week.
Life Imitating Art... The Case of the Black White Supremacist
"Racially aware" North Dakotan Craig Cobb appeared as a guest on an English black woman's talk show. These circumstances are odd enough, but it gets wilder when an analysis of Cobb's DNA is revealed to him on air. Highlight: he dismisses his 14% sub-Saharan ancestry as "statistical noise" while a fellow guest clad in an African turban cackles at him.
Remember the visually challenged Clayton Bigsby? In the end he divorced his wife for being a- well, just watch it. I don't want to kick off my first Roundup by using the N word.
Be Fruitful, Before Your Ovaries Turn Into Raisins
Amber and Jenelle: Teen Mom Alumnae and Members of the Under 25 Club
America thinks that women should have babies before the age of 25. Note that poll respondents who graduated college were more likely to take the view that women should wait "until they are 26 or older."
The inverse relationship between intelligence (and income and education) and birth rates has been widely studied. To summarize: dumb people have more kids.
Take Idiocracy's illustration of this phenomenon:
Graduate degrees are worthless, so stop clinging to your irrelevant, highfalutin diplomas. And the hard-hitting journalists at Good Day LA are currently running a series about how you're totally fucked if you wait to have kids. So for all you upwardly mobile cohabiting yuppies out there, your seed is unlikely to spread very far. Just stick to adopting French bulldogs, as you've been doing.
Reviving The Greatest Slang Terms of Yesteryear
Me and my chuckaboo headed to the benjo for some mafficking, I met a gal who wasn't very afternoonified so we did the bear, after which she let me batty-fang her. Best sentence ever.
Mitzvahs
Two of many affected by Typhoon Haiyan
It's a sad state of affairs in the Philippines. I donated my weekly Cronut allowance to the good souls at the World Food Programme. Please consider doing the same.
Ronald Phillips, saint of death row
The governor of Ohio granted a stay of execution to death row inmate Ronald Phillips, who's execution was originally scheduled for this week. Phillips requested the postponement to allow extra time for him to arrange the donation of his vital organs to immediate family members in need. He was convicted of raping and killing a 3 year-old child in 1993.
I haven't been following this case until now, but organ donation hits home for me. Dad has been kept alive for over 5 years thanks to the liver of an anonymous 18 year old. Update those drivers' licenses, people! Just please don't kill any children.
Dehydrated Delicacies
Contains 100% of the daily three C's: Corn, Chemicals, and Crack.
Did you know that some cheese powder products contain more additives than cheese? I, for one, am shocked- I didn't think there was any real cheese in there at all! I feel vindicated, in a way. I am addicted to Easy Mac. That's lowbrow and disgusting, I'll admit it. Whatever. I ate these yellow chemicals by the family-sized box load when I was pregnant. I even asked my OB-GYN if she knew of any birth defects associated with excessive consumption of industrial cheese powder. She nodded no, and went back to playing Words With Friends on her iPhone. Let's just say that when my daughter was jaundiced as a newborn, I wasn't surprised.
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Peanut butter with a powdered cheese consistency? Yes, please!
...And then I moved to LA. I know I've assimilated because I put down the cheesy fairy dust in search of something a less toxic. My friend just introduced me to PB2 and it's really good (for what it is). Compared to my reduced fat peanut butter, it has:
1/4 of the calories per serving
4g less sugar
only 2g less protein
no trans fat or saturated fat
Best of all, it contains real peanuts (or so they say).
Update: If you care, you can read this assessment from a healthy, attractive woman who hates PB2. Do you prefer mold to calories? I prefer mold.
Running: It's For Fatties
This article, on why consistent running can be an obstacle to weight loss, may help to explain why my weight plateaus at times, despite significantly increasing my mileage (I'm an avid runner). I know what you're thinking- "It's the Easy Mac consumption, stupid!" No, it isn't- I quit that for now.
Lululemon 'Celebrates Failures'
Lululemon, the overpriced, yogi-centric, fat-shunning, lifestyle apparel label is in more hot water after founder Chip Wilson read a page from creepazoid Abercrombie & Fitch CEO Mike Jeffrie's playbook by indiscriminately alienating parts of his consumer base. Neither here nor there: a few Lululemon employees live in my building. One is a yoga instructor. As far as I know, all of them drive to work. The store is down the street from me, a stone's throw away. Why aren't they walking? Are they ashamed that their butt cracks will be visible to the public through the threadbare materials that bind their $95 pants together? Now that I think of it, that's probably why.
Speaking of Butt Cracks
Miss Bum Bum 2013 has been chosen. Bow down.
...or maybe he's just lethargic from eating a Benadryl brownie.
Either way, this is the scowl of the week.
Life Imitating Art... The Case of the Black White Supremacist
"Racially aware" North Dakotan Craig Cobb appeared as a guest on an English black woman's talk show. These circumstances are odd enough, but it gets wilder when an analysis of Cobb's DNA is revealed to him on air. Highlight: he dismisses his 14% sub-Saharan ancestry as "statistical noise" while a fellow guest clad in an African turban cackles at him.
Remember the visually challenged Clayton Bigsby? In the end he divorced his wife for being a- well, just watch it. I don't want to kick off my first Roundup by using the N word.
Be Fruitful, Before Your Ovaries Turn Into Raisins
Amber and Jenelle: Teen Mom Alumnae and Members of the Under 25 Club
America thinks that women should have babies before the age of 25. Note that poll respondents who graduated college were more likely to take the view that women should wait "until they are 26 or older."
The inverse relationship between intelligence (and income and education) and birth rates has been widely studied. To summarize: dumb people have more kids.
Take Idiocracy's illustration of this phenomenon:
Graduate degrees are worthless, so stop clinging to your irrelevant, highfalutin diplomas. And the hard-hitting journalists at Good Day LA are currently running a series about how you're totally fucked if you wait to have kids. So for all you upwardly mobile cohabiting yuppies out there, your seed is unlikely to spread very far. Just stick to adopting French bulldogs, as you've been doing.
Reviving The Greatest Slang Terms of Yesteryear
Me and my chuckaboo headed to the benjo for some mafficking, I met a gal who wasn't very afternoonified so we did the bear, after which she let me batty-fang her. Best sentence ever.
Mitzvahs
Two of many affected by Typhoon Haiyan
It's a sad state of affairs in the Philippines. I donated my weekly Cronut allowance to the good souls at the World Food Programme. Please consider doing the same.
Ronald Phillips, saint of death row
The governor of Ohio granted a stay of execution to death row inmate Ronald Phillips, who's execution was originally scheduled for this week. Phillips requested the postponement to allow extra time for him to arrange the donation of his vital organs to immediate family members in need. He was convicted of raping and killing a 3 year-old child in 1993.
I haven't been following this case until now, but organ donation hits home for me. Dad has been kept alive for over 5 years thanks to the liver of an anonymous 18 year old. Update those drivers' licenses, people! Just please don't kill any children.
Dehydrated Delicacies
Contains 100% of the daily three C's: Corn, Chemicals, and Crack.
Did you know that some cheese powder products contain more additives than cheese? I, for one, am shocked- I didn't think there was any real cheese in there at all! I feel vindicated, in a way. I am addicted to Easy Mac. That's lowbrow and disgusting, I'll admit it. Whatever. I ate these yellow chemicals by the family-sized box load when I was pregnant. I even asked my OB-GYN if she knew of any birth defects associated with excessive consumption of industrial cheese powder. She nodded no, and went back to playing Words With Friends on her iPhone. Let's just say that when my daughter was jaundiced as a newborn, I wasn't surprised.
.JPG)
Peanut butter with a powdered cheese consistency? Yes, please!
...And then I moved to LA. I know I've assimilated because I put down the cheesy fairy dust in search of something a less toxic. My friend just introduced me to PB2 and it's really good (for what it is). Compared to my reduced fat peanut butter, it has:
1/4 of the calories per serving
4g less sugar
only 2g less protein
no trans fat or saturated fat
Best of all, it contains real peanuts (or so they say).
Update: If you care, you can read this assessment from a healthy, attractive woman who hates PB2. Do you prefer mold to calories? I prefer mold.
Running: It's For Fatties
 |
| How long will it take to work off this KFC Double Down? |
This article, on why consistent running can be an obstacle to weight loss, may help to explain why my weight plateaus at times, despite significantly increasing my mileage (I'm an avid runner). I know what you're thinking- "It's the Easy Mac consumption, stupid!" No, it isn't- I quit that for now.
Lululemon 'Celebrates Failures'
Lululemon, the overpriced, yogi-centric, fat-shunning, lifestyle apparel label is in more hot water after founder Chip Wilson read a page from creepazoid Abercrombie & Fitch CEO Mike Jeffrie's playbook by indiscriminately alienating parts of his consumer base. Neither here nor there: a few Lululemon employees live in my building. One is a yoga instructor. As far as I know, all of them drive to work. The store is down the street from me, a stone's throw away. Why aren't they walking? Are they ashamed that their butt cracks will be visible to the public through the threadbare materials that bind their $95 pants together? Now that I think of it, that's probably why.
Speaking of Butt Cracks
Miss Bum Bum 2013 has been chosen. Bow down.
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